We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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