I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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