i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
