Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
