things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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