So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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