im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize