I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
