I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize