Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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