He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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