i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
