I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
