I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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