the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
