I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize