he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
