Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
