I think i peed on brittanys purse
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
