We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
