Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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