he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I am naked and annoyed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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