But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
