Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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