video games are the ultimate cock blocker
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
