i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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