You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
