Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
