problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
