So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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