so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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