he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
