I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Girls should come with a carfax report
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
