wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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