Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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