You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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