my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
