Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
