My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
