Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
