Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
