I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Just puked most of my soul out..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize