thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
