he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
