Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
