can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
