i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
