3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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