ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
