Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
