insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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