Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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