you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
