Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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