I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
MIDGETS
????
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
