on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
