Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
