I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
